http://elottebridger.blogspot.com/2012/09/a-life-between-life-and-death.html
I did not feel anything. Not a cut on my chest nor a drop of blood from my neck. Everything just turns bright like a powerful shimming light taking over the whole world, exploding from the centre spreading out, consuming everything in its way, totally absorbed into the brightness.
"Am I dead? So I didn't make it after all." I thought to myself. The light feel warm, but all a sudden a strange sense of emptiness and sadness from within. This is not what everyone talks about. "Walk towards the light" They said, but its all light around me. Helpless and lost, I cried out for someone. I did not know why, but the first name I called was Kismeta.
"Kismeta... Where Are You?" I shouted until no more voices comes out from my throat. The suddenly hopelessness and despair had turned me desperate even in the warmth of the light. I did not know how much time had passed or if time matters anymore at all, a familiar silhouette forms in the mist of white light. The dark shadowy figure was no other than Kismeta.
"Master! There you are." She spoke with her dark reddish lips which always somehow remind me of blood especially in the contrast to her pale, bloodless complexion of her skin.
"Am I dead? Are you here to guide me?" I can't help asking in a desperate tone. It seems eventually this the ending road for everyone. For every beginning, there is always an end. Although I had told myself countless times when I charge into battle without fear that this day would come one day, but when it did, I wasn't ready. It was not that there was anything I left behind that holds me back. There was little of feelings left for anything to the mortal world.
They said quick images of my life would flash before my eyes in my dying sight, but it did not happened. But people I know I do recall at this moment of time, but all seems so far away. I thought about Rinka and all the times we spend loving and fighting as if there was a purpose to it, but now I realized how deep she had left an impression in me that she was the first I remembered of my mortal life. There were others people and events and some which I can only regret of not being spend time with. Especially Lola. Some things that had been done, I wish I could reverse if time permits again. But my feeling I could not change. It was something that neither I could control and I want to control. Although forever lost, the feeling begins to overwhelm me at this dying moment, amplifying the intensity of the forlorn, remorse and sadness that had consumed me for the past months. Suddenly, I realized that death was not something I was afraid of. In fact, I welcome it with my opened arms.
"Stop it Master! You are destroying yourself!!" Kismeta shouted anxiously before she tried to grab my shoulder but got nothing as her hands passed right through my body. "No! You are not dead yet! Get a grip of yourself!" For the first time, I saw the feeling-less girl who was my servant for the past year cries in desperation as streams of blood flows down from her pupil-less white eyes down her cheeks. "You are going to make it!"
It was as if icy cold water was thrown onto me as the white light suddenly disappeared and all around me I was surrounded by darkness. An endless void of darkness beyond the furthest reach. It was so dark that I could not see anything at all. Not Kismeta and not even myself as I raise my own hand. I would imagine that fear will come striking deep into my heart, but it was not. A warm feeling surrounded me as the darkness wrapped around my wretched body.
"Welcome to my world of Darkness..." Kismeta spoke with her unusually calm and cold voice once again. "Darkness will protect you, learn to embrace it and instead of it consuming you, you will learn to let harvest it and fill you heart and soul with it." I nodded almost as if I understand as the warm feeling of the dark void enter my body, as if through my nose at every breath as the warm stream of darkness flows gently down my throat into my body. I would never had imagine this was how Darkness had felt.
"The world still needs you. Everyone still needs you. I still need you! Don't you dare die on me!" Kismeta spoke calm as I "feel" her move closer to me. Suddenly I could feel her presence as her undying body stick close to me as she hug me tightly. I hold her close, like never before and before I knew, her cold Icey lips locked onto mine and I had a feeling as if I could see once again from the blindness of the Darkness. I closed my eyes gently as she mumbled softly...
"Lorem Tenebris in Lucem Educere... Signifer Tenebrae..."
(To Be Continued)
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