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12/31/2014
Winter Fantasy Hunt
Kitty just completed this hunt with almost 90 stops and it was difficult! The hunt prizes are worth it though. You can see them at the blog.
There are however 2 points for update according to Kitty:
#85 Doesnt seem to have items.
#87 Sim is gone.
Blog info and LMs:
http://melnakaevents.wordpress.com/winter-fantasy-hunt/
Start the hunt at:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Abaris%20dAlliez/102/193/26
12/30/2014
Facepalm Ho Ho Hunt
Facepalm had held a mini hunt where there are 20 small prizes at $1 each at the store. They are easy to be found in red and the area to look for aren't too big. So if you have the extra cash, do go for it!
Start your hunt:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Legends/202/58/1126
Anno Hunt
Kitty completed this very short hunt of 13 shops but only 8 workings.
This is one of the prizes name Nougat.
The hunt is free and here are some previews of the items and the Lms:
http://la-jolie.net/the-anno-hunt-prize-guide/
Start your hunt at: (Kitty did not find the item at the first store)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Bleston/37/144/40
This is one of the prizes name Nougat.
The hunt is free and here are some previews of the items and the Lms:
http://la-jolie.net/the-anno-hunt-prize-guide/
Start your hunt at: (Kitty did not find the item at the first store)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Bleston/37/144/40
Analog Dog Free Hairs
Analog Dog is giving away 6 hairs for free now in big green boxes as shown above.
The hair included not only include the normal color packs, in fact, you can even get the whole FAT pack for free!
Do drop by and grab them before they are all gone!
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Analog%20Dog%20Hair/176/99/23
Tengoku no Rakuen Winter Hunt
Kitty had just completed this special hunt from Tengoku Japanese Sim which cost $2 / item and there are only 7 items in this hunt.
Let's see the prizes as posted officially.
Love the prizes? Start your hunt at:
今を抱きしめて (Hug This Moment) ~ YOSHIKI + NOA
I am not good with some of my words and a song is perhaps one of the best way to express my feeling for someone. This may be a very old song, but it is beautiful and expressed many things in a deeper way than I can put in words. For that special somebody...
今を抱きしめて
道に迷って独りで泣いた
夜に会いたくて
数えきれない想い重ねた
夢に濡れるまで
苍い孤独に独り埋もれた
素直になれなくて
濡れた瞳を见つめられなくて
时代に流された
瞳を闭じても
贵方しか见えない
言葉にならない
涙を止めて
远くに见えた贵方の爱を
今は抱きしめて
过ぎ去った季节に贵方が残した
言葉が忘れられなくて
今も…
夢に描いた贵方の爱を
今は抱きしめて
言葉持たずに夜に飞び出した
すぐに会いたくて
高鳴る想い二人の胸に
抱いて旅立とう
今を抱きしめて
English Translation by Kitty
Hug This Moment
Lose my way, crying alone
Remember meeting you in the late night
Limitless thoughts overlapping the memories
Until I awaken from my dream
Buried the blue loneliness by myself
No longer used to being frank
Unable to see with my wet eyes
Fading with time
Even if I closed my eyes
I can only see you
No words can be said even if I
Hold my tears
Even far away, I can see love
Hugging this moment
You remain in the fading seasons
Words that can never be forgotten
And Now...
Painting dreams with your love
Hugging this moment
Without words, running in the deep night
I want to see you now
The unsettling memories in our hearts
Taking this memories, starting a new journey
Hugging this moment
今を抱きしめて
道に迷って独りで泣いた
夜に会いたくて
数えきれない想い重ねた
夢に濡れるまで
苍い孤独に独り埋もれた
素直になれなくて
濡れた瞳を见つめられなくて
时代に流された
瞳を闭じても
贵方しか见えない
言葉にならない
涙を止めて
远くに见えた贵方の爱を
今は抱きしめて
过ぎ去った季节に贵方が残した
言葉が忘れられなくて
今も…
夢に描いた贵方の爱を
今は抱きしめて
言葉持たずに夜に飞び出した
すぐに会いたくて
高鳴る想い二人の胸に
抱いて旅立とう
今を抱きしめて
English Translation by Kitty
Hug This Moment
Lose my way, crying alone
Remember meeting you in the late night
Limitless thoughts overlapping the memories
Until I awaken from my dream
Buried the blue loneliness by myself
No longer used to being frank
Unable to see with my wet eyes
Fading with time
Even if I closed my eyes
I can only see you
No words can be said even if I
Hold my tears
Even far away, I can see love
Hugging this moment
You remain in the fading seasons
Words that can never be forgotten
And Now...
Painting dreams with your love
Hugging this moment
I want to see you now
The unsettling memories in our hearts
Taking this memories, starting a new journey
Hugging this moment
Petit Chat Antigravity
Petit Chat has a new outfit name Antigravity for the Penumbra Dec Event.
Antigravity is a green leather outfit which supports material and comes with the boots as well as the ties and the main outfit and skirt in 5 mesh sizes.
Here is a close up of the jacket with support materials.
The long boots really looks good whether you are on the move or even lying on bed. It is must for boot fetish!
The best part is the back, which looks totally gorgeous!
Visit Penumbra to get this outfit:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/zanze%20two/64/191/26
12/27/2014
Kitty - UEF Special Agent
This was the original alternative scripts I had written for the back story of Kitty in Serenity, but I guess I never got to use it anyway, so here I writes it out, just for sharing...
On board the Firefly Scientific Scout-ship, she looked at the screen blankly as she is cruise through the big void of empty space in the galaxy. She could still remembered how she graduated from the star fleet academy and was selected and recruited by the UEF (United Extra-terrestrial Frontier) as a special field agent. It wasn't that long after that she was assigned this Firefly class scout-ship, named after the bulb of light matter emitted during cruising on its afterburners. It has been a while since she had commandeer this ship, alone in space.
This new case she was after is rather peculiar. Kitty always felt there was something more to it than just another case of virus research gone wrong by some illegal organization. As she traces the track of the origin of this new unknown virus that almost seems harmless at the first glance, she ended up in this dark void sector of the galaxy where almost no ship is likely to roam about. Suddenly, there was a loud beeping from the console and it immediately chase her attention. The big screen indicates multiple firing targets incoming, exiting hyperspace. Kitty knew her scout ship will stand no chances against them and quickly she had initiated her own jump of the system while she suit up just in case combat as unavoidable. At least she isn't going to go down without a fight. As quickly, she radios her UEF channels indicating her current position and threat as she buckled up to enter hyperspace.
A loud explosion came from her star-port rear thruster as she hears the hyperdrive kicks in. She realized she must had been hit just moment before the jump took place and before she know it, she was send spinning and rolling on her seat, buckled but as space and time twists in the hyperjump she felt a strong sharp pain as the ship gets sucked into the torrent of the space jump. She loses conscience soon after.
A loud beeping on the screen finally awakens Kitty as she opened her eyes, partially tinted in red. She must had hit something and she couldn't be certain it was her head or her eyes that is bleeding now. The big MAYDAY words flashed and loud siren echoes in her ship as she realized her ship was caught in a planet's gravity field and is losing attitude, crashing to the planet.. straight into a lone island somewhere on its surface. Before Kitty could react, she felt the impact, breaking her seat buckle, sending her fling backwards before she blanks out again into darkness.
The crash was bad. Kitty touches the painted logo and name of her Firefly scout ship labelled "Tranquillity" sadly as she drags the scout ship into an underground catacombs she found using the strength from her exoskeleton. It was all she could do, to hide her ship while she can find a way to gather parts and resources to repair her ship so that she can send out a beacon to get help. Even the emergency tracking beacon was severely damaged by the crash. Kitty checks her exoskeleton and realized but only a few functions remains operative, the rest either damaged during her impact or overused when she drag her ship into hiding.
The catacombs was linked to some kinda of ancient tomb and judging from its marking, Kitty estimates it to be quite ancient and forgotten, even some language lost and untranslatable. She checked if her cloaking device and it seems to be malfunctioning, so she is quite certain she cannot avoid detection by any inhabitants on the island. Searching though the tomb, she found some more recently clothings from female individuals who seems to had been tortured to death. Based on the readings, she estimate this is somewhre in the human era of the 19 or 20th century. Kitty worse fear had been realized. The hit she took on her ship must had not just jumped her in space, but in time as well somehow. Or maybe it is this island, time just stayed still in that old age.
After a few weeks, blending into the local community, Kitty learned a lot about the island and its traditions. It seems the island inhabitants are local and nobody has known of anything else beyond the sea. The locals in general are the normal good people, consists mainly of women, but there are groups of raiders known as predators who would roam the swamps and other areas beside the port, hunting down the locals, either raiding them of food, supplies or even sex. Kitty realized that if she need to find the parts to repair her ship, she would need to take the risk of encountering these predators and checking through her weaponry, the only thing she could work is her stun tayzer which she could still recharge using the solar from the sun once in a while, but with only a limited charge, she is totally helpless as her exoskeleton is so damaged it would not provide her with super human strength any more. Fortunately, from the local underground market, she was able to purchase a dart-gun and darts which could come in handy.
Another lead, however is closely related to the virus she was tracking. It seems that the virus already existed on this island even before she arrived. The predators who usually just rob or rape the locals, are starting to become extremely violent and often kills the locals without apparent motive, especially during a sexual act. Kitty smells something fishy going on. She had been tracking the place and all she could find is an abandoned asylum which could provide her with some equipment where she can cook up some ancient contraption to research into the virus. They are crude, but will have to make do since all her other scientific equipment were destroyed during her crash. With these crude devices, she begin to obtain samples from the locals. However, without precise readings, she will have to test the victim against a prototype placebo she had created by inducing fear, pain, despair into the victim in the most primitive ways possible.
A strange finding, however really puzzles Kitty. Among some of the locals whom she had captured and check in secret, she found tagging used by UEF, very similar to her own system. All those locals found to be clean from the virus were tagged as such. Kitty is very sure then there is at least another field agent from UEF among the local, in hiding, just like her. She need to know who she is and quickly consolidate their research information to resolve this crisis. Her worse fear would be that this is a conspiracy from an hostile extra-terrestrial organization which are researching and experimenting into a virus that could potentially wide out the human race, if they continue to torture and kill their prey during an sexual intercourse. She need to find out who are infected and how did it started. Finding patient zero would be the main priority now. And to do that, she will have to take her chance against the predators which are usually stronger and faster. Kitty can only imagine if she was somehow captured as a result. Death would be merciful.
Kitty loads her taser and hides it well under her hood as she gears out and ready for her mission once again. She can only hope she would succeed in this mission or if not at least someone else could complete her work if anything bad is to happen to her. The images of those tortured corpses she found in the catacombs only haunts her ever more as she shakes her head to try to clear them out before setting out from the safe house at the docks. As she looked back, she could clearly see the huge signboard titled "Serenity" as she disappears into the dark woods, hunting down her next victim...
On board the Firefly Scientific Scout-ship, she looked at the screen blankly as she is cruise through the big void of empty space in the galaxy. She could still remembered how she graduated from the star fleet academy and was selected and recruited by the UEF (United Extra-terrestrial Frontier) as a special field agent. It wasn't that long after that she was assigned this Firefly class scout-ship, named after the bulb of light matter emitted during cruising on its afterburners. It has been a while since she had commandeer this ship, alone in space.
This new case she was after is rather peculiar. Kitty always felt there was something more to it than just another case of virus research gone wrong by some illegal organization. As she traces the track of the origin of this new unknown virus that almost seems harmless at the first glance, she ended up in this dark void sector of the galaxy where almost no ship is likely to roam about. Suddenly, there was a loud beeping from the console and it immediately chase her attention. The big screen indicates multiple firing targets incoming, exiting hyperspace. Kitty knew her scout ship will stand no chances against them and quickly she had initiated her own jump of the system while she suit up just in case combat as unavoidable. At least she isn't going to go down without a fight. As quickly, she radios her UEF channels indicating her current position and threat as she buckled up to enter hyperspace.
A loud explosion came from her star-port rear thruster as she hears the hyperdrive kicks in. She realized she must had been hit just moment before the jump took place and before she know it, she was send spinning and rolling on her seat, buckled but as space and time twists in the hyperjump she felt a strong sharp pain as the ship gets sucked into the torrent of the space jump. She loses conscience soon after.
A loud beeping on the screen finally awakens Kitty as she opened her eyes, partially tinted in red. She must had hit something and she couldn't be certain it was her head or her eyes that is bleeding now. The big MAYDAY words flashed and loud siren echoes in her ship as she realized her ship was caught in a planet's gravity field and is losing attitude, crashing to the planet.. straight into a lone island somewhere on its surface. Before Kitty could react, she felt the impact, breaking her seat buckle, sending her fling backwards before she blanks out again into darkness.
The crash was bad. Kitty touches the painted logo and name of her Firefly scout ship labelled "Tranquillity" sadly as she drags the scout ship into an underground catacombs she found using the strength from her exoskeleton. It was all she could do, to hide her ship while she can find a way to gather parts and resources to repair her ship so that she can send out a beacon to get help. Even the emergency tracking beacon was severely damaged by the crash. Kitty checks her exoskeleton and realized but only a few functions remains operative, the rest either damaged during her impact or overused when she drag her ship into hiding.
The catacombs was linked to some kinda of ancient tomb and judging from its marking, Kitty estimates it to be quite ancient and forgotten, even some language lost and untranslatable. She checked if her cloaking device and it seems to be malfunctioning, so she is quite certain she cannot avoid detection by any inhabitants on the island. Searching though the tomb, she found some more recently clothings from female individuals who seems to had been tortured to death. Based on the readings, she estimate this is somewhre in the human era of the 19 or 20th century. Kitty worse fear had been realized. The hit she took on her ship must had not just jumped her in space, but in time as well somehow. Or maybe it is this island, time just stayed still in that old age.
After a few weeks, blending into the local community, Kitty learned a lot about the island and its traditions. It seems the island inhabitants are local and nobody has known of anything else beyond the sea. The locals in general are the normal good people, consists mainly of women, but there are groups of raiders known as predators who would roam the swamps and other areas beside the port, hunting down the locals, either raiding them of food, supplies or even sex. Kitty realized that if she need to find the parts to repair her ship, she would need to take the risk of encountering these predators and checking through her weaponry, the only thing she could work is her stun tayzer which she could still recharge using the solar from the sun once in a while, but with only a limited charge, she is totally helpless as her exoskeleton is so damaged it would not provide her with super human strength any more. Fortunately, from the local underground market, she was able to purchase a dart-gun and darts which could come in handy.
Another lead, however is closely related to the virus she was tracking. It seems that the virus already existed on this island even before she arrived. The predators who usually just rob or rape the locals, are starting to become extremely violent and often kills the locals without apparent motive, especially during a sexual act. Kitty smells something fishy going on. She had been tracking the place and all she could find is an abandoned asylum which could provide her with some equipment where she can cook up some ancient contraption to research into the virus. They are crude, but will have to make do since all her other scientific equipment were destroyed during her crash. With these crude devices, she begin to obtain samples from the locals. However, without precise readings, she will have to test the victim against a prototype placebo she had created by inducing fear, pain, despair into the victim in the most primitive ways possible.
A strange finding, however really puzzles Kitty. Among some of the locals whom she had captured and check in secret, she found tagging used by UEF, very similar to her own system. All those locals found to be clean from the virus were tagged as such. Kitty is very sure then there is at least another field agent from UEF among the local, in hiding, just like her. She need to know who she is and quickly consolidate their research information to resolve this crisis. Her worse fear would be that this is a conspiracy from an hostile extra-terrestrial organization which are researching and experimenting into a virus that could potentially wide out the human race, if they continue to torture and kill their prey during an sexual intercourse. She need to find out who are infected and how did it started. Finding patient zero would be the main priority now. And to do that, she will have to take her chance against the predators which are usually stronger and faster. Kitty can only imagine if she was somehow captured as a result. Death would be merciful.
Kitty loads her taser and hides it well under her hood as she gears out and ready for her mission once again. She can only hope she would succeed in this mission or if not at least someone else could complete her work if anything bad is to happen to her. The images of those tortured corpses she found in the catacombs only haunts her ever more as she shakes her head to try to clear them out before setting out from the safe house at the docks. As she looked back, she could clearly see the huge signboard titled "Serenity" as she disappears into the dark woods, hunting down her next victim...
12/25/2014
Can't Fight This Feeling ~ REO Speedwagon
While at the rez party... A song came into my mind... Feeling so close once again to someone is just my luck I guess. This song seems to be all about us as I hug you close and feel your heart against mine as the night fades into a cloud of romantic pink mist...
"Can't Fight This Feeling"
I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show
I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I said there is no reason for my fear
Cause I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction
You make everything so clear
And even as I wander
I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might
And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever
Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore
My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
I've been running round in circles in my mind
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl
Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find
And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might
And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever
Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.
"Can't Fight This Feeling"
I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show
I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I said there is no reason for my fear
Cause I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction
You make everything so clear
And even as I wander
I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might
And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever
Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore
My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
I've been running round in circles in my mind
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl
Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find
And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might
And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever
Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.
12/24/2014
Christmas In My Heart ~ Sarah Connor
I said that I did not want to post another Xmas song this year due to so many things that had happened, but then I thought why not, its Xmas anyway. Xmas is always something to share with someone special and if you have that someone special, everyday can be Christmas. I miss you so much.
Every time we say goodbye
There's something breaking deep inside
I tried to hide my feelings to keep myself controlled
But somehow I can't deny what's deep inside my soul
I've been always on the run
So many different places, having fun
But like a river always knows just where to flow
Now that December comes I feel like coming home
[chorus]
It's Christmas in my heart
When I'm with you
No matter where we are or what we do
Tomorrow may be grey
We may be torn apart
But if you stay tonight
It's Christmas in my heart[chorus]
I don't know how to stay alive
Without your touch without you by my side
Just like the desert's always waiting for the rain
Oh baby, I wish the holy night would come again
[chorus]
Everywhere I go and everyone I know
Is making lots of wishes for old Santa Claus
But all I really need tonight
Is for you to come and hold me tight
What is Christmas without you here by my side
I need you tonight
[chorus]
Every time we say goodbye
There's something breaking deep inside
I tried to hide my feelings to keep myself controlled
But somehow I can't deny what's deep inside my soul
I've been always on the run
So many different places, having fun
But like a river always knows just where to flow
Now that December comes I feel like coming home
[chorus]
It's Christmas in my heart
When I'm with you
No matter where we are or what we do
Tomorrow may be grey
We may be torn apart
But if you stay tonight
It's Christmas in my heart[chorus]
I don't know how to stay alive
Without your touch without you by my side
Just like the desert's always waiting for the rain
Oh baby, I wish the holy night would come again
[chorus]
Everywhere I go and everyone I know
Is making lots of wishes for old Santa Claus
But all I really need tonight
Is for you to come and hold me tight
What is Christmas without you here by my side
I need you tonight
[chorus]
12/23/2014
Mini Hunt
Kitty just completed a nice little hunt from a few Japanese shops carrying their own items. They call it mini Hunt, but there is nothing mini about as this consist of 6 shops with about 2 - 10 items each from each shop.
Blue Moon is one of the shop giving away a complete outfit in 3 prizes.
There are also a nice rotating candle stand from another shop and its self assembled.
There is a nice red Christmas dress that is full mesh and it does look good in Kitty. It helps her keep warm at the great heights.
The same outfit comes in white and black strips and even a pair of matching boots for it.
And a green version for those holidays where green is the key.
In fact there is another full red dress in this hunt what is totally awesome as well Except the boots here which was purchased from Severed Garden.
Start your hunt here:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Sukotraz/123/114/69
12/22/2014
Luminescent Blood
I chance upon a nice shop at the Kiyomizu Winter Hunting 2014 at #25. By the way, if you hadn't figured out the Ninja Cat wasn't at the landing point, but in the shop. Which is the Lm given below.
More about the Kiyomizu Winter Hunting 2014:
http://blog.elotte-bridger.com/2014/12/kiyomizu-winter-treasure-hunting-2014.html
This shop I am at specialized in dances and they come cheap from $20L and plenty of free ones from the lucky board. The owner was very generous! Kitty met her and she gave Kitty some more to play with.
And yes there is a cute pig pillow too...
If you love dancing and Japanese songs, you must visit this shop. The owner is a big supportor for Bloodline too, check out her other stuff on the sim.
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Etienne%20Island/230/62/1002
Kiyomizu Winter Treasure Hunting 2014
The Kiyomizu Hunt is on again for the winters and this time, the ninja cats is playing afool at around 70 locations giving you some great time hunting them down.
And this time Kitty had manage to get the max number of Ninja Cats. By the time you visit this, the max had dropped to 76 I believed. Kitty is so happy. Always remember to do this first, do this fast.
Edited:
Seems that 2 new sims are up and max is now 79.
BTW, if you cannot find the Ninja Cat at #25, its because its at the store! Either take the TP or visit here:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Etienne%20Island/230/62/1002
Start the main hunt at:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Little%20Cat%20GreenEyes/57/26/24
And this time Kitty had manage to get the max number of Ninja Cats. By the time you visit this, the max had dropped to 76 I believed. Kitty is so happy. Always remember to do this first, do this fast.
Edited:
Seems that 2 new sims are up and max is now 79.
BTW, if you cannot find the Ninja Cat at #25, its because its at the store! Either take the TP or visit here:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Etienne%20Island/230/62/1002
Start the main hunt at:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Little%20Cat%20GreenEyes/57/26/24
12/21/2014
The Dawn Kingdom - Dinosaurs and More
Want to see some dinosaurs? There is no better place in secondlife then this! In fact is it better than Jurassic park in many ways. See how close Kitty can get to the dinosaurs! At least this friendly herbivorous.
This is perhaps one of Kitty's favorite dinosaur (Triceratops) because it s a herbivorous too and it has great armor.
A sim for dinosaurs wont be complete with the huge T-Rex. All these are actually avatars for secondlife! Go see them and say hi!
Dawn Kingdom:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Fort%20Nowhere/129/70/1102
12/19/2014
The Love that Never was
It had been more than 24 hours and I realized that I had been isolated in my facebook, my google and sl account. Abandoned, like a damaged doll. Even for a brief moment in time, almost like a heartbeat, I thought we had something.
That night, when I jumped and landed on the upper platform was the beginning of this all. How I was drunk in rl and I was trying to steal the wooden rocking horse was just a fun unplanned roleplay what happened briefly. Nobody noticed or at least bothered with me. Except him. I needed the confident that night to roleplay again and no matter how unlikely things seems to be. We talked. He talked to this childish little girl which really had nothing better to do that very night.
His IM were the first time I saw when I wakes up, and the last thing I did was to IM him back right before I sleep. His words had found a place deep in my heart and it is funny how nothing much else really matters but small things like this. At one point of time, I really wondered, how is it that you would take notice of the very insignificant girl I am. It was before I knew about how popular you were from my sisters.
Many stories were told, some worse than others. But I did not lose hope, still holding on to a dream and yes it was just my dream, never was yours. You kept on jumping from girls to girls, but I never give up thinking I was special. That perhaps somehow you will find an excuse to give me a chance to be yours. Many people thought I was stupid. But I know the feeling, like sulphur going into my lungs, except in a nice way, lighting up my heart and feeling the warmth in my chest. I had not learned to love again in the past 2 years, looking past my sorrow and hardship of coping alone. And alone these 2 years had been a really long time.
How I remember some of the nicer moments, the times we spend cuddling, almost as if we are lovers in real. I cannot even given a name to it because we are not whatever that came to mind. Although we never really had a night that made you mine or me yours. It was all these little bit and pieces that makes up the beautiful puzzle in my mind now. Of how I had fell in love with an imaginary you.
Many people laughs at my 'love' for you. How I had kept to myself and not been playing with the rest of the guys in the sim. I had my dark past, but I am sure I could move past that with a little help. From you. I did not want anyone else to be here first. I felt that if anyone deserved my heart, I would want him to be you. But you just smashed it to the ground. Into a thousands pieces and mock me with people who used to be my friends. I wish I had a hole to jump into and be buried away. I feel so ashamed.
And yet, jealousy had once again wedged between us. I am no saint. As much as I wished I was. My feelings are real. I do not do things just for the reason of doing so because I can. I feel loved, happiness and lonely, sad perhaps too. Time after time, you left in the middle to run after someone else. You said it was a game. Everyone else. Maybe to you I was a game too. But I was asked to not feel it. Because I continue to believe. That when you told me you liked me, it was something real and how you cared. I was touched. Very much so because at my weakest time at the hospital. I was alone. With a mobile phone. You where there. My best friend whom I always wanted like a mom was there. Nobody else. It felt real then. I knew my sadness was real. But you comforted me as I weeps like a child there. I was truly touched. And I am not someone who love to hide my feelings. Enough. For 2 long years I had. It was not because I approve of your games. Given a choice I would object, but you made me choose if it was you or nothing. I sealed my lips and bottled my emotion. It did not felt good. I knew someday I would not be able to force any more of these inside me. That someday was that day.
I was angry and I totally lost control of myself. I had never felt so insulted and used. I keep making up excuses for you that it was how you had seen things. It may not matter to you, but it did to me. I asked for it? I kept trying to convince me that you were right, but in the end, I thought I deserved better. You are right about it is not my business. But you are my business. That is because I cared and bothered. You never really bothered about me. What I wrote and said. It never occurs to you that I wanted you to see them? Not once. I thought everything else was unreal. That night, an invisible wall was cast in between us and I realized it divides us forever. I was appreciated. In fact I was blamed. Because I felt. I, Kitty, is not a robot. And will never be one. I laughs when I am happy and cries when I am sad. I am more human than I want to admit.
It has been more than a day now. I notice how you had deleted all links with me. I know you will never read this. But still my heart hopes. I do not know why. My sis told me that you are no good for me, like poison I kept drinking and killing myself slowly. She wanted me to block you. I did, but I cheated. I know you could still contact me if you really want to. Until I realized that I was blocked off your facebook as well. I wanted to call you and cry, to beg you to take me back, not a care of how pathetic and shameless I looked. I wanted to tell you, I wont care as long as you are still with me, what you treat me as. But I knew better. I knew I had missed that chance. I can only wonder who you are holding now, and it will never be me in your embrace. I still find myself lost and confused, trapped in the memories of the past, of some truth in it and some of my imaginary possibilities. I feel myself drowning in this denial to believe that you are gone. I knew many will laugh behind my back. This stupid girl. But I know its ok. Because I don't care anymore. I wish I could see your IM, but remember how I had now blocked you and you probably never bothered trying to reach me anyway. I wished you had dropped me an email, telling me how all these is going to be okay and I will live on. But I know in the end... The truth is when it comes to choosing, I am all the way at the bottom of your list. Never been yours and never will be.
That is all that there is now. Me and myself. And I never realized how much it can hurt to love someone who never was mine.
When You Lose Someone You Never Had
This is a repost of "When You Lose Someone You Never Had" from : http://thoughtcatalog.com/ari-eastman/2014/12/when-you-lose-someone-you-never-had/
Why I did this repost is because many words she had used had really described what I felt, to be in love with something that doesn't exist or exist in a form that was all out to abuse my feeling instead. I knew there aren't a tomorrow for those and now its all in the yesterdays. With a heavy heart, I realized that I had been removed, deleted and wiped out from his past as he pursues newer girls, perhaps even younger ones.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't hurt and my lives goes on without a glitch. The thought that perhaps even if it is for a short while that someone good and memorable would grow out of this becames nothing more than a cruel joke I played on myself. But lives do go on. Just that it would be me and myself now.
In college, I was heavily involved in the spoken word scene on campus. I was a total artistic cliche and brought a notebook everywhere I went, was a staff member that helped run a weekly open mic, and competed on a slam team (can you guess I was not athletic in high school? #teampoetry). I’m no stranger to being in rooms with people oozing emotions. I have heard more love poems, more heart-broken poems, more “BETTER WITHOUT YOU” poems than you can even imagine. But you want to know the ones that were absolutely drenched in the most pain? The ones about almost lovers. The relationships that ended before they even truly began. Those are the suckers that punch you right in the gut.
I’ve been in love with my imagination for a very long time now. It’s the first thing you really learn to explore in life, even before the real world. Daydreams are the best friend of many kids, and to be honest, if it’s something I was supposed to outgrow, I never did. We can build up so much by just thinking. Isn’t that incredible? We just think and our bodies react. You think about the way his lips would feel on your neck and your heart rate increases. You envision her smile and you feel goosebumps spring forth along your arms. You think and then feel. I still can’t quite get over that.
When you fall for someone, the thinking and feeling get so intertwined. If you were to look at something in a completely rational way, you’d understand nothing is a promise. You are not guaranteed anything in life. Words can be rendered meaningless, so to hold them as high as we do is maybe our own undoing. But that will not lessen what you feel. Developing romantic feelings for someone means you will begin to daydream. You will imagine a future, even if that future is only the next day. You just can’t help it. This is part of being human. Do not beat yourself up for this.
The almost lover is like getting the rug pulled from beneath you. You haven’t even found proper footing yet. You are still daydreaming, remember? You are thinking about that tomorrow, the breakfast or trailer for a movie you think the two of you would enjoy. There are so many tomorrows you haven’t had yet. It’s an end to something you haven’t even had a real chance to start. This is the hardest thing to let go of: the thing you never really had.
Break ups are difficult beasts, no matter the circumstances. Even in the most healthy, mutual parting of ways, it’s going to suck. You say goodbye to a part of your life, to a person, to a whole chapter. But what do you do when you haven’t even been given the opportunity to write that chapter? You fixate. You focus. You dive so deep into day dreams and imaginary worlds, thinking about all that could have been. You have to move forward with so many unanswered questions, and this is one of the most difficult things to do.
But you can, and you will. The almost lover teaches you something very valuable. You learn how to continue without always gaining closure. We aren’t always granted something clean and easy to understand. Shit happens. It’s not fancy or grand. It’s just a fact. And when something disappoints you, it stings. It hurts and let yourself be hurt. Feel what you need to feel. But at a certain point, you’ll stand back up. You’ll brush off the dirt and the bruises will start to heal. You keep going. And then one day, the almost lover isn’t just an almost.
12/18/2014
The Depart
Kitty pulls out The Promise, her trusted sword given by Kismeta, from the giant scorpion back before turning away from it and plunging the great sword into the sand as she leans on it, panting hard. The giant scorpion behind her moves but even before a step he could finish, crashed to the ground, motionless, robbed of its life. Kitty is in a bad shape, her hands and shoulders cut, blood streaming out, staining her white costume. Her hair was in a mess as one of her ribbons was probably rip off during the fight and half of her hair is let loose, swinging free over her shoulder. She is taking deep and hard breathe as the last scorpion falls looking at Kismeta, who is painless pulling out a giant sting from the scorpion tails as she spoke effortlessly.
"Kissy you had grown weaker..." She paused then almost with no feeling asked "Is that because of your affection for the humans?" She drop the sting on the sands as she peels off the broken armor from her shoulder and waist, dropping them to the floor,, before she sits down gracefully onto the sands, watching the sea, beside Kitty. Kitty looks up, eyes towards the sea as she catches her breathe. She pulls her hair back and ties it into a little ponytail with a make shift ribbon from a pieces of her torn clothes. She smiles, with a little effort as blood streaming off her mouth, but fortunately without choking...
"Do you believe in love?" She smiles as she kneel down onto the sand, no longer about to hold herself up, right before the sword. "Maybe I really had grown weaker..." she smile at her stupidness, a wasteful lots of feeling placed onto the human race. "I need to train harder." She let go of the sword and lies backwards, her head onto the soft sand and spread her arm out to relax.
"Yes, I had. Do you not remember?"Kissy answered coldly, almost as if she blames Kitty for it. "I was betrothed before you slain me?" She holds her legs towards herself as she tug her head on her knee. Kitty remained silent for a long moment... She really did blame herself, but that was the only option left to free her from the possession. "That is not love, Kissy. Its just marriage." She smile, thinking of someone who flash across her mind, before she hardens herself to prevent her heart from hurting again. "Well you are fortunate." She added before she turns over and look at her companion.
"Kitty, you know I must go back to save queen Catarina from this!" She said as she held her fist toward her chest, the salute of the Knightess, she recognized. Kitty remains silent but realized that it was only a short period that she was reunited with her friend that they now must part ways again to serve their purposes. She got up and pets Kismeta on her shoulder, before giving her a good hug and whispering in a soft tone.
"Yes, you must go serve your queen. At least do that because she really had given me a powerful sword. I must too go after the pirate treasure that little pirate spoke of. I believe the book is within the treasure and I cannot afford to allow someone to reawaken another one of the ancients one, especially from with under the ocean where it is my weakest area." She wimble softly, wiped away a little tear she has and let go of Kismeta before standing up. With a graceful swing, she pulls off the sword and straps it into the sheath on her back.
Kismeta stands up and look at her lifetime friend, nods in agreement and held out her hand. "I Promise I will meet up with you on this Never Never Land you mention once I settle the rouge armada that sails against my queen. We will fight along side once more then." Kitty grab her hand and held it to her chest before holding it firmly and answered. "Yes, its a promise!" she let her go once again as she turns and walks away, not even once looking back. Kitty looks at Kismeta as she walks towards the ninja kites they had leave before exploring the island.
She knew she has a job to be done and its time to set off as soon as she can recover from her wound. she tears off the shoulder piece of her costume and wraps it tight around her wound, biting on the end of it to make a knot before moving behind towards the kite Kismeta left for her as she looked up, seeing Kismeta lifted off and flying towards the westerns water.
She knew they will meet again, but before that, a lot more will happen and she will have to make sure she makes it to that day. She bites her lips gently as she mounts her kite, kicking herself off the sands and catching the sea breeze, she heads towards east, the direction that little pirates claims to be able to reach this place known as Never Never Land...
12/17/2014
Lost Eden Christmas Hunt 2014
Kitty had completed the Lost Eden Christmas Hunt which wasnt widely advertised. The hunt items are still in storage, but since the hutn only last till 24th Dec, Kitty would love you to go for it too.
Btw, the Lost Eden sim is a really beautiful and romantic place where couples can dance and cuddles. It is high advisable to take a look.
Visit the sim for the 20 prizes. (Kitty did not find #1 though...)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Lost%20Eden/189/11/25
Goodbye Winnie
On 6th Dec 2014... My only companion in life had left me. It was 9 long years we had together and it really pains me so much that it affected most of what I was doing in sl and rl. It was fortunately I have good friends with me that had helped me though the worse of times and given me comfort when I needed it. I wanted to thank each and everyone of you for that.
This is a tombstone created for me by my designer and close friend Trinity. I know Winnie would have loved this.
Although I am alone now, I will continue my journey with a new Kitty I adopted from the rescue group. And Winnie I hope you will give me blessing for her and see us through the hardest of time.
Forever you are in my heart and your memory stay here, a part of me left with you. I will miss you... VERY MUCH Winnie. See you over the rainbow bridge someday. I promised.
2005-2014. Aways miss you. Winnie.
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About
Elotte Bridger was borned in 2L on Christmas Day in 25th December 2009.